Coffee Enema

So you’ve reached that point in your healing journey where things have become so boring and redundant that the only enjoyable activity you can think of is drinking coffee with your bum. Totally understandable.

This page is a temporary placeholder for as much information as I’m able to pull together for coffee enemas as I have time.

What are we doing?

Brewing organic mold-tested coffee grinds and carefully transferring the solution into our bum. Once loaded, we attempt holding it for about 15 minutes and then release it into the toilet. Sometimes only the coffee solution comes back out, sometimes foul-smelling substances come out. Depending on how long ago we ate, we may trigger a premature bowel movement.

Why would we do this?

There is not any solid science on this, but it is most likely helping us generate glutathione 1 which may also cause our bile ducts to open and release bile. Our body attempts to generate glutathione(our master antioxidant) when we have oxidative stress around. Either something in the coffee itself is causing oxidative stress as it carries out a biochemical reaction, or the liquid is simply breaking down something that is physically inhibiting cellular function, which is allowing the cells to function again, which then causes the oxidative stress to trigger glutathione.

We can’t just drink the stuff?

Booooring….

Part of what makes this work is the fact that we have a Portal Vein in our bum that gives our intestines a “highway” to transfer nutrients between our intestines, liver, and several other organs. By providing our intestines with coffee that has not been broken down by the rest of our system, we offer the cells of mainly our liver, access to a substance that would otherwise be converted or reduced. In one way, the substance we’re applying has not been broken down by normal means, but in another way, we’re providing this substance to a different physical location of our cells, mainly our liver cells.

A not-so-great example of this is watering a garden. If we use a hose or sprinkler to spray water on the garden, the plants and the top of the soil become wet. Then the sun most likely causes a lot of that water to evaporate. This evaporation is almost like coffee being broken down by stomach acid etc. But if we water our garden through a soaker hose that is installed just below the surface of the soil, we might not cause any water to evaporate because the sun’s energy does not have access to it. Again, not the best example but I’m just trying to point out what a simple difference can make.

So, this is.. safe?

Coffee Enemas are essentially another nutrient. Similar to any nutrient we add to our healing, we want to understand why we’re taking it, what to expect and how to make the best of it.

A lot of people have been drinking coffee with their bum for a long time. As with anything, there is a small chance of adverse reactions, but they are most likely due to rapid healing. As long as we do not insert scalding hot coffee into our bum or use moldy coffee or hose, there isn’t much to worry about. The worst things I’ve seen people do are leave a plastic cap on the tube which caused the cap to become stuck in their bum, and forget to rinse the hydrogen peroxide they were using to clean their tube.

Other than the first few times we try one of these, we don’t have much to expect other than stimulating energy or clarity. A very small amount of us will notice an anxiety-like reaction when we start, but as long as we start slow and are not freaking out as we give this a shot, we don’t have much of anything to worry about. But if we are not able to remain calm as we try this, maybe it’s not the best time to start this new procedure and it might be worth wasting $3 worth of coffee till we can get our mind a little better organized.

I’m sold! I wanna put coffee in an extremity!

Totally understandable.

If you’re even reading this, there is a good chance you are pretty far along the way of self-love and self-care. This most likely means you are past the whole idea of “normal”. Being “normal” in today’s world means ignoring anything important and buying stuff that claims to resolve what we’re actively ignoring.

Please do not become caught up on the icky factor of this procedure. If you’re worried about safety or how your body will react, that is fine and expected. But too many people put this off for too long because they think butt-stuff is too icky.

Sure, this is odd and can potentially cause people to assume we’re doing something dangerous. But those people will most likely have no problem being drugged so someone can cause their body a vast amount of trauma as they invasively remove body parts in an attempt to mitigate symptoms while coincidentally generating profits.

Precautions

The main issue we stand the chance of running into with this is due to the fact that coffee requires boiling water to fully extract what we need from it. But anything over 106 degrees Fahrenheit is able to burn our bum, so we could potentially have an issue here considering boiling water is 212 degrees Fahrenheit. Waiting for the solution to cool adds an annoying aspect to scheduling this procedure.

Some water is really nasty stuff. Even when filtered properly, some water still contains fluoride, an extremely potent neurotoxin. Although our body is pretty much helpless to such strong toxicity no matter how we are subject to it, applying it directly to our bum will most likely make the situation much worse than if we were to give our digestive system a chance to help break things down a bit.

Once we have properly filtered water at the proper temperature, we have much less to worry about. Distilled is most commonly used, I use spring water, and we need to stay far from fluoridated water no matter which end it’s going in.

I started doing these with the coffee at about 100 degrees F. But I noticed some people claim they can hold the solution longer when it’s warmer, so now I wait till it cools to 106 F(the max temp before we risk burning our insides) and it’s probably at about 104 by the time I’m finally loading it into meh bum.

Brewing the coffee

We want organic, mold-tested coffee. As long as the coffee is a decent brand(not Folgers etc), we should be good, but we may want to aim for coffee that has been tested for such a situation.

I boil 5-6 cups of water. The amount depends on what we personally see as the best route to apply such liquid to our bum. I usually do 2 or 3 “rounds” of enemas that are only about 1 cup of solution each. By the time the coffee is brewed and cools, I probably only have about 4 cups of liquid left.

Once the water is boiling or about to boil, add anywhere from 1 teaspoon(potentially less if we want to start even slower) to 3 tablespoons of coffee to the water.

Adding the coffee will most likely cause the water to boil faster. If it’s close, it will boil sooner, if it were already boiling, it will most likely boil over. I like to add the coffee just before the water starts boiling so I avoid creating tons of bubbles that cause the coffee to stick to the side of the pot.

Once we add the coffee, we want to boil it for about 5 minutes without a lid. This allows some of the oils to cook off. We don’t need to keep the water at a vigorous boil. We want to cook the coffee, but don’t want to just evaporate a ton of water.

Once the 5 minutes of boiling is over, we want to reduce the coffee to simmer for another 15 minutes but with the lid on this time. This means setting the heat to as low as possible. Some stoves may continue to boil well, others may stop boiling at all. This will take some experimenting. I remove the pot from heat for about 20 seconds and then see how it responds to low. When we apply the lid, the temperature will increase a little, so it’s worth keeping this in mind as we experiment with simmering. Sometimes I will assume its been simmering, but when I go to turn off the heat after 15 minutes, I realize the solution was not simmering.

After 5 minutes of boiling and 15 minutes of simmering, it’s time to remove the coffee from heat. This could be pulling it away from the burner on the stove, or sticking it outside in the winter, or freezer, fridge, or in the path of the air conditioner or fan. Just keep in mind that the pot is hot and will take anywhere from 20-50 minutes to cool off depending on what temp our stove simmers at and where we store it afterward. I tend to get mine to about 110-115 F so I have a little time to finish preparing my area. Be mindful of dust or other foreign objects that may end up in the solution as it sits to cool off. If we leave the lid on, it will take much longer. Without the lid, there is a small risk of things falling in.

I actually pour my first round into a glass container and leave the pot on the hot stove with the lid on. That way just the one round gets to cool down and the rest of it will still be warm when I am done with the first round. If all goes well, I can do this with 3 rounds without having to reheat at any point, only having to wait for each individual round to cool as the rest sits on the stove which is still warm from the boil and simmer.

Preparing our area

Once we have the liquid pretty close to the safe temp, we will want to make sure our area is prepped. This means we want to have anything at all we might want during this time. There are essentially two groups of items we’ll need, one is items required for the enema and cleanup, and the other is some type of entertainment or comfort for ourselves.

First, we need some sort of bucket to hold the solution, with a tube and catheter. Here is a link to the kit I use on Amazon. We’ll need some type of lube to get the catheter into our bum. Most sexual lube or coconut oil will work fine but we can also research this topic for various other oils. We’ll also want something on the floor to at least absorb drips or small potential messes. I fold a large towel longways so I am not laying on the hard floor. Then I place a pet “pee pad” that is commonly used for indoor pet accidents, which is essentially a disposable towel. I use one of these pads about 5-10 times till there are too many questionable drips etc. I also have several pieces of paper towel ready so when I remove the catheter I have somewhere to place it temporarily. I hang a small plastic bag on the door handle and I wrap the catheter in the paper towel and drape it in the plastic bag. This helps keep the catheter from drying out while I’m busy holding and releasing the solution, which makes cleaning it easier, and then the paper towel is already in a bag for easy disposal.

I also prep the room with something to read or listen to. Sometimes I bring my red light therapy set up and use that while I’m waiting for the solution to do its thing. Sometimes I will bring drinking water with me. The water is mainly for when I am doing a lot of detoxing and can only imagine I’m low on water from all the activity.

For some reason, there is a common idea at this point is that we’ll most likely destroy our bathroom with the rath of coffee spraying out of our bum once we have it loaded. Maybe I happen to have strong bum muscles, but I have never experienced a situation where I was not able to keep the coffee in my bum or the toilet. Once the coffee is in there long enough, we will eventually almost always reach a point where we can no longer hold it. This means there will come a time where the pressure is extremely difficult to hold any longer, at which point we better have our bum on the toilet or things might get a little messy. This “pressure” is the same sensation we experience when we have to go #2 really really badly. We’re holding warm liquid which makes the really really badly aspect just a touch worse.

Some people pee themselves a bit when they laugh hard, so our ability to hold this solution is going to be a lot different for each of us. If someone is not capable of holding this solution for more than several seconds, we could potentially sit on the toilet with the catheter in our bum so we may attempt loading it without worrying about how quickly it needs to come back out. Keep in mind that the less time we can hold it, the more toxic we potentially are, which means this procedure may be very helpful. Don’t become discouraged by short hold times, just keep at it and you should be able to eventually hold longer.

Sometimes when I return to doing these after taking a break I cannot hold the enema for long. Instead of wasting coffee, I just make the solution weaker and weaker till I can hold it. And sometimes if I am loading the solution and notice pressure quickly, I just stop loading even if it was only a few ounces of solution and I hold this as long as possible. Then I just keep doing more sessions of these smaller amounts. If I know this is going to happen, I make weaker solution to take advantage of more water and I go back to trying to hold the 2 cups or so I normally aim for.

Prepping insertion

I hang my plastic grocery bag on the door handle of the bathroom. I set up the towel, pee pad, and paper towels. I have some kind of lube ready. I rinse my bucket, tube, and catheter while making sure the connections are tight. Then I close the clamp on the tube so when I add coffee to the bucket, it does not go into the tube yet, which would cause the coffee in the tube to cool faster than the bucket.

I add the solution to the bucket and check the temp. I leave the bucket on the sink counter in my bathroom, which is about waist height and is plenty of height to help the solution drain out of the bucket once we open the clamp, but not so high up that the tube is going to pull on the bucket. The bucket cannot be on the floor or the solution will not drain down the tube. We’re relying on gravity for this.

Once the temp is 106f, I open the clamp and allow the tube to fill with the solution(the tube is not in our bum yet). We want to make sure the tube ends up full of solution without any air. If we end up with a lot of air in the tube, we’re most likely going to increase the amount of gas pressure we feel as we load and hold the solution.

This pressure feeling is what forces us to release the solution after a while. I tend to take 1-2 activated charcoal capsules anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes before a CE. I do not use binders for anything else, but have noticed the charcoal tends to help absorb some of whatever causes this pressure. There have been several times charcoal seemed to help me hold the solution for as long as I’d like or to the point I absorb it for now.

If I ever absorb it completely, I drink more water and search for any nutrients I may be missing. Sometimes going for a walk etc will cause the process to finish a few hours later.

The fun part, loading the solution

Who in the world keeps calling this fun…

I keep pretending this is fun because we’re making progress on the road to wellness. Unfortunately, none of this is any fun unless we’re one of those really odd people that enjoy enjoying life. But joking about the situation can keep things interesting at least.

Here we are, laying on our side in what is most likely our bathroom, on a pet accident pad and possibly a towel. Agh, that’s a lot of dust bunnies in the corner. What a great time to learn how to insert a tube into our bum. In a way, this is insanely simple, but some of us do not have full mobility and other factors that inhibit the ease of this process.

This situation is interesting to explain, and I hate to go into details like this, but this is potentially one of the most awkward aspects of a CE, so.. The general idea is that we either need to figure out how to apply a glob of lube to the end of the catheter which we then use to apply to our bumhole just before and on the way in. Or, we need to apply lube to the entire 6 inches or so of catheter we plan on inserting. We have to slowly feed the tube which means we have to keep touching it in different spots as it makes its way in, and because of this, I prefer a glob of lube on the end so I’m not touching a slimy catheter. Feeling slime while working in these tight quarters is rather unpleasant.

The lube we use has a rather large impact on insertion. For example, it’s difficult and potentially impossible to apply certain lubes to the end of the catheter because it will be too liquidy and just run off or drip. Coconut oil helps this situation if it is cold enough, otherwise, it turns to liquid. Most sexual lube just sucks and quickly dries up, which can be rather uncomfortable to realize now that a tube has been sitting in our bum for several minutes. I made this mistake one time and was not a happy camper. If the catheter ever feels like it is stuck, twisting(or spinning) it between our fingers should help dislodge it slowly which should ease the situation. I no longer leave the tube inserted after the solution is loaded due to this. Once the solution is loaded, I remove the catheter and either place it in the paper towel and bag, or stand up and wash it right away.

Sometimes it is just not easy to get the tube loaded no matter what we do. I ended up finding thinner more rigid catheters to help this situation. I also noticed it was much easier to insert the catheter after my first round of CE. So sometimes if I have issues on the first try, I wipe the catheter and start over with more lube. The lube from the first attempt seems to help a bit almost as if this is my second round.

Wahoo, now we have a tube in our bum! How exciting. As long as we didn’t just spend 5-10 solid minutes fighting with insertion, the solution should still be at temperature. If we started inserting before confirming a safe temperature range, we need to do so now. But we should have only loaded the solution into the tube because it was at temp and we were ready to go. Even if it makes its way down to just under 100 degrees F, we should be fine. But we may not want to let it go much lower than that or our body may react differently to such a temperature change.

Some people claim we need to be laying on our right side as we load the solution into our bum and while holding it. The idea is that the solution will not make it to our portal vein if we do not lay this way. I do not agree with this idea and I don’t even lay down anymore after I have the solution loaded. Call me crazy but if I notice all the same results whether I go back to work on the computer or lay on my right side the whole time, I don’t see a reason to lay on my right side for 10-15 minutes. Several times as I’ve had a hard time holding the solution for long, I have noticed that changing positions somehow allows the pressure to pass or decrease. Ironically, I’ve noticed laying on my right side tends to allow me to hold longer, which doesn’t make any sense at all if our right side is supposed to be a more efficient position.

Now the easy part

At this point, we should be past most of the icky factor as well as question marks. I remember the first time I did this, I realized this whole ordeal is much more simple than I originally assumed. I think the biggest hurdle is “butt stuff? gross” and the next biggest hurdle is “ok how in the world do I add liquid to my bum?”. So once it’s loaded, we’re just about done with the hard part.

Several people I’ve worked with or chatted with about this say they had elevated heart rates once they loaded the solution. But they also confessed that they were rather nervous about the situation and were also anxious people in general. Keep in mind that this procedure has been used by a lot of people for a long time and just about every last person performing this procedure is most likely rather ill. If you are an anxious person or are worried about starting these, I would suggest starting with a very weak brew of coffee and potentially even a water or saline enema first.

While we’re still learning, it’s probably best to remain laying down and potentially laying on our right side as we wait for the inevitable pressure build-up and need to release. Be sure to have a clear path to the toilet and have the toilet seat ready for action.

About the only thing we’re up against at this point is deciding when the pressure is too much to hold any longer. Sometimes the waves of pressure will pass, sometimes they will intensify. There are not any reports of people hurting themselves while trying to hold through this pressure, but we risk painting our bathroom with poo latte. Sometimes I will stand right in front of the toilet and do my best to make it through a pressure wave. I’ve noticed that once I sit down on the toilet, it is 100% impossible to hold any longer.

And, release

Hopefully, we’ve made it to this point with relative success. If things have gone less than great by this point, try to use it as a learning experience and figure out what might make things run smoother next time.

Releasing is relieving in several ways. We’re no longer fighting the pressure build-up which is a great feeling and we’re also most likely expelling some very negative energy. The whole reason we’re doing this is to help our body get rid of bad stuff that is holding us back in life and wellness, and sometimes we can feel the loss of negative energy the millisecond it’s leaving our body. The first three CEs I performed actually stimulated me in a slightly uncomfortable way, it almost felt like I just did some kind of weird drugs. But after that, I felt such a relief the instant I released the solution.

We will most likely benefit from doing everything we can to ease the pressure our body is naturally using to expel the solution. It’s easy to want to apply even more pressure and get the stuff out, but there are two issues. If we add even more pressure, we’re most likely going to push stuff out so quickly that it might irritate our poor bum. We also want to ease the pressure so it’s not hitting the toilet bowl and going in 10 different directions. I tend to sit up a lot more upright than I usually do on the toilet, this helps the angle go down vs into the back of the toilet. I also position my legs and butt cheeks to help manage drips. Liquid works a little differently here, so we may have to improvise a bit. Females may want to remain mindful of where this liquid might migrate.

I tend to hang out on the toilet for about 10-15 minutes. Sometimes I can tell I’ll end up having a few more releases, and sometimes I can tell I’m done after just one. But it seems pretty common to have a second or third release anywhere from 10 minutes to a few hours later. I think this delay has to do with hydration and nutritional levels.

What if nothing at all comes out, or only the coffee solution comes back out? Don’t sweat it, there are times these are much less productive than others. I have a feeling this means that we are short on some type of nutrient, which includes sleep, sunlight, physical activity, and various nutrients. I have noticed several times where I’ll have a protein shake, go outside or take a nap after a CE and this will cause me to have another release. Slightly off-topic but to drive the point home, there are times that I get my nutrition in such good shape that it’s almost like I’m having a CE release from normal meals, which IMO just means my body has everything it needs to make glutathione. Doing CEs is one of many situations that helped me catch on to how my body uses and processes nutrition. This is a difficult situation to explain, but keep this in mind.

Clean up

Sometimes I make a pretty big mess of the toilet bowl. I wipe any areas on or under the seat that have been hit and I fill a jar with water from the sink to pour around the inside of the toilet bowl. These two moves help keep things in decent shape but the toilet still tends to require extra cleaning as I am doing CEs.

I only rinse my bucket and tube with fresh water and make sure I store it in a way that allows it to completely dry out. If the tube ends up with water somewhere in a bend, it will most likely eventually mold. In the three years or so that I’ve owned this kit, I’ve only used soap and water to clean the inside of the plastic bucket about 5 times. I’ve only filled the tube with hydrogen peroxide and allowed it to soak 10-20 minutes 3 or so times. Imo, as long as we rinse and dry these parts, we don’t have to worry about cleaning them as we might expect. You may feel the need to clean these things more than I do, but I will suggest being careful about going overboard and assuming these things need to be sterile for each use.

I use castile soap for just about everything except shampoo. I use a soap dispenser that turns the castile soap into foam. I spray a ball of foam into one hand and drag the catheter through the soap so I can coat the whole thing. Then I just do my best to scrub with both of my hands and rinse inside and out. Wrapping the catheter in a paper towel once we remove it helps this cleanup, otherwise, things might be a little baked on and require help from a fingernail, which kind of sucks.

How often can we do these?

Some people do them daily, some do several per day. I have tried various frequencies and I prefer to only do them 1-3 times per week. We’re all different and have different levels of nutrients and energy available. I feel like I noticed this procedure wearing me out when I’ve tried doing them daily. There is a chance that these will make us feel a little tired at times as they allow us to carry out healing, but they shouldn’t be causing us to feel like we are really worn out and pushing ourselves too hard.

These can potentially make a drastic improvement in our healing, but we have to think about what that means. Our body is a massive system of intricate balances. Although we need to work through these imbalances to regain wellness, moving things way too quickly can cause discomfort which doesn’t always show itself right away. Usually, when we find a beneficial healing move, our body reacts much stronger the first few times, and then things balance out a bit. So there is a chance that once we do a few of these, they will be a bit easier. But there is also a chance that once we make progress with other aspects of our health, that the CEs could start working much differently and zapping our energy. We just need to pay attention and use our intuition. Just because some people say “keep going! no pain no gain!” doesn’t mean we should push ourselves past our limit. We know our body better than anyone else.

Getting the right supplies

I started with a kit that included a small bag of coffee. This lasted for a while because I always start everything slow and give my body time to balance back out and let me know what it thinks. I probably go through about 1 pound or less of coffee per year. As usual, we probably need much less of this stuff than most people are using, so the coffee should last pretty long. I store mine in the freezer

If we are not able to get our hands on a kit, we may have to do some research to find the right type of tube, and hopefully, we can still locate a catheter. Some people use a glass jar to avoid plastic, but I think it’s wise to start with the plastic so we have a better idea of what the chances are of knocking it over etc. There are stainless steel buckets with a hole on the bottom for the tube, like plastic. I have not located a common glass version with a hole on the bottom for the hose.

What about replenishing electrolytes?

The idea that we need to replenish electrolytes is important but slightly misguided.

Electrolyte balance is important but so is the balance of any other nutrients. As we make progress with something like coffee enemas, we need to continue to balance our nutrients by replenishing whatever is in demand. Electrolytes stand out a bit more here only because coffee enemas can cause us to purge a lot of fecal matter without taking the time to reabsorb moisture from it in order to form the standard package we expect.

This is bigger than electrolytes. I do my best to help put this into perspective on the homepage of this site. We need to have decent stomach acid and histamine support and so many other things if we want to move forward to our potential. The purpose of coffee enemas is to maximize this process, so supporting every angle possible is important if we want to reach our potential.

Buy supplies at Amazon

$49 – Plastic bucket, tube, catheter, 1/2-lb coffee https://amzn.to/3E0i5a0 – This one is not always available, and the price changes sometimes. I’ve been using this for 3 years and have only replaced coffee and the catheter.

$99 – Stainless steel bucket, tube, catheter, 1-lb coffee, strainer + extra reading material https://amzn.to/3Kqta6v – This is a great option if we prefer to avoid plastic. I do not have an issue using plastic for this purpose and personally feel that this option is overpriced. It’s also a pain in the butt at first, no pun intended. The plastic bucket makes things easier in several ways. I will expand on this one day.

$27 – 1-lb Purelife Organic Ground Light Roasted Mold & Fungus Free Enema Coffee https://amzn.to/3usglTO – This is what I have been purchasing after trying a few others.

$19 – 5 pack of catheters https://amzn.to/3KuB1jn – I purchased these after my original catheter stopped being stretchy which I think was due to rinsing it with hydrogen peroxide. These are a little thinner than the original from the kit which made insertion a bit easier.

Continuing the discussion

There is some scattered information about coffee enemas on the internet, including a few youtube videos.

A group called Coffee Enema Support Group has almost 40,000 members. I’m not saying I necessarily disagree with them, but I do not agree with the way they handle everything involved in this situation. I tend not to participate much in this group because my personal experiences are quickly “corrected” and they do not allow discussion about much of anything outside of what is in their files.

So, once again, I’ve created my own group that I will create more content for once we have enough people. Join me at Coffee Enemas for Beginners

Wondering who I am and why I’m writing about butt coffee? Read more about me at whyiodine.com/micah-coffey

Footnotes

  1. Coffee enema for preparation for small bowel video capsule endoscopy: a pilot study – https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25136541/